You’re Not Waiting for “The One” — You’re Stuck in Scarcity
Some people spend their whole life waiting for someone who isn’t coming. They waste years holding onto a name, a memory, or a fantasy because they’ve been told there’s only one person for them, and if they miss it, they’ve missed it forever.
That’s the trap. That’s the pain.
Some people aren’t lonely because there’s no one out there. They’re lonely because they’ve built their whole life around one name, one person, one possibility, one door. And without that person they cannot function.
Scarcity makes you believe love is rare. That there’s only one person who can love you.
That there’s only one person who can understand you. That if you lose them, if they walk away, if life separates you, you’ve lost your chance forever. But that’s not love. That’s fear wearing a wedding dress.
Scarcity teaches you to panic. It tells you, If you don’t grab this, you’ll never find another.
Scarcity will make you stay in a relationship that’s hurting you because you believe you won’t find better. Why do you think people stay in abusive relationships? It’s because most people have conditioned their minds that this is the one for me. Even though there is more to it, and it’s a complex thing to unravel, I think (and I’m not a relationship expert) the reason why people stay in relationships in rarely logical.
Scarcity will make you waste your best years waiting on someone who’s already living their life without you.
Scarcity will make you kneel before people who don’t value you, just to feel chosen.
I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it. I’ve watched people get stuck, not because there were no options, but because they were obsessed with one option. Obsession is not love. Obsession is not loyalty. Obsession is fear dressed in devotion.
Obsession makes you ignore what’s good and healthy because you’ve built a world around one person. You stop seeing the beauty in others. You stop seeing yourself clearly. You stop living. You wait. You shrink. You turn down real possibilities because you’re chasing the shadow of one name.
Obsession makes you think you’re being deep, but really, you’re trapped. It’s not greatness to hold on to someone who’s gone. It’s not noble to spend your life proving you can wait longer. It’s not love that is keeping you stuck; it’s fear, pride, and the belief that nothing better will come. Obsession will blind you, I know because it has blinded me many times.
But what if love isn’t scarce? What if life is full of good people you haven’t met yet?
What if the idea that you’ve “missed your person” is the biggest lie scarcity ever sold you?
The belief in “The One” keeps people trapped. It makes you wait for people who’ve already moved on. It makes you chase after people who’ve already told you no. It makes you believe you’re unlovable because one person didn’t choose you.
I don’t know where that belief in “The One” came from. Maybe it was the movies. Maybe it was the fairytales. Maybe it was the songs that made it sound like there’s just one person on this entire planet who can love you right. But when you really think about it—it’s a foolish idea. It makes life smaller than it is. It makes you believe that out of billions of people, your whole story hangs on one human being. That if they walk away, your chance at love dies with them. That’s not romance, that’s prison.
Love is not that small.
There isn’t just one person who can build life with you. There isn’t just one person who can love you deeply. There isn’t just one person who can walk with you toward purpose. But if you lock yourself inside the scarcity mindset, you won’t see that. You’ll spend your life waiting for a door that’s already closed—when there are open doors all around you.
Scarcity tells you to wait for crumbs.
Abundance teaches you to walk away and trust there’s more.
You’re not trapped. You’re not stuck. You’re not waiting for someone who holds the key to your life.
God is bigger than that. Love is still available. People are still out there. You can start again. You can build again. You can love again.
But you’ll have to let go of the lie that says your story is over because one person didn’t stay.
You’ll have to let go of the lie that says there’s only one person for you. That’s not destiny. That’s scarcity talking. And you don’t have to live there anymore.